The other day I sat in my bed for a few minutes checking twitter, facebook, you know all those time fillers in life. I sat "criss cross applesauce" style. If you don't know what that means ask a kindergarten teacher.
Any way, when I got up both of my feet were "asleep" or numb. It is the weirdest feeling when parts of your body are numb. So I got up and walked into my bathroom because everyone knows the only way to "wake up" a limb is just to get up and put it to use. But it hurts sooo bad. The longer I stood the worse it hurt. I was thinking if I just stand here the pain will ease and I'll feel better. But the worst tingling and aching always comes right before its over.
Isn't this the story of life? How often have I found myself numb. Numb to situations in my life, numb to my spirit, numb to relationships. I feel that sometimes we let dreams that we've had become numb. We watch hopes become stagnant and numb.
And then it happens. We realize that we have to wake up. Time to mend that relationship. Face that impossible, uncontrollable situation. Time to feed your spirit. But the pain just keeps getting worse, is it worth it? Is that person worth the "sorry, I was wrong"? Can you face the hurt of your situation so that you can begin to mend? Is your spirit weak and ready for some much needed attention?
It is going to hurt. Waking up is hard, it hurts. But there's nothing like that feeling after you've recieved feeling back. Everything feels new. But you have to move. Staying in the same position won't get you anywhere. But don't stop there, keep moving, even if the pain worsens. Pain is good, it means all life hasn't been lost to that part of you. If it hurts....it still feels. This is always the tricky part for me. I have a pretty high pain tolerance (or so I've been told...I don't have anything to compare it with) so I'm willing to take the pain for a while, I can fight it. But then as it worsens I want to stop. You see, if I thought I already hit the hardest part just to find out its going to get worse...I'm done. Who wants to go on when you thought the pain was almost over? Not me, that's for sure.
But here I am, still going. When it all seems out of control, I hate it. I hate every second of feeling like I can't change things. I'm the kind of person that hears an alarming sound outside and immediately goes to check it out. I don't like to live my life with fear. I don't watch horror movies, I don't need those images in my mind. I like to be in control of my fear. But sometimes it just doesn't work that way.
I'm so glad I don't face the uncertainty alone. I'm so glad that my Creator has complete control. I'm so glad that he didn't create me with a spirit of fear or timidity but with one full of love and a sound mind. Wow. That was so easy to type but so hard to put into action in the rough times.
Today I challenge you AND myself to trust the Creator. Keep moving, the pain subsides eventually. The pain is worth the end result because LIFE BEATS NUMB any day.
No comments:
Post a Comment