Wednesday, January 4, 2012

mark.

you know there are those people in your life that just simply leave an impression. they shape who you are in some way.

mark haddock was one of those people for me.

my two oldest sisters married brothers and they had younger brothers. i can't remember a time that danny and mark weren't part of my life. when i was a child they would visit in the summer for multiple weeks. mark and i spent a lot of time together those summers. mark was 3 years older than me and we were close, he was literally the brother i never had. one summer we were really into playing card games. you see, one thing mark and i had in common we were both cursed with poor eye sight. we had glasses and we hated them. so there we are playing cards all summer and mark would get so frustrated that i was beating him. he just couldn't figure it out. we were both pretty competitive with each other so i was LOVING it. what mark hadn't realized...i could see his cards reflected in his glasses. yes, i know. i was a cheat. but you have to admit, if you could beat your older "brother" by any means possible wouldn't you? i never told mark.

by the time we were in high school mark moved to ky from ga. our friendship only grew stronger and i would be lying if i didn't wonder at times if i would be the 3rd schooler to marry one of the brothers! that was a short lived question because it became more and more clear that we were meant to be friends and nothing more. mark was like my brother and i was blessed to have him.

a few lessons learned from my dear friend:

- people know you're smoking in the back yard EVEN IF you hide the cigarette butts in the gutter.
- when someone says to you, "it's illegal to pee in the ocean." don't respond with, "oh, ok..i won't do it again." that's exactly what your punk older brother wanted to hear!
- driving record speeds from Atlanta to Lexington only gets you a ticket, not a NASCAR invite.
- it's ok to kiss a great friend....just in case.
- don't pick up a random hand gun at the house of someone you don't know. yes, there's a hole to prove this one.
- laughing until you roll in the floor is the best medicine.
- don't let him and james barker borrow your car. ever.
- once a georgia bulldog...always a georgia bulldog. even if you do live in the more superior sec state. (i can hear his laugh and his very southern bull$%*# right now)
- loving a person is not always easy but it is always right.
- there really is no value that can be placed on true friendship and acceptance.
- you don't have to agree with someone's actions to love them.
- a smile can change someone's day.
- and of course...DO NOT WEAR GLASSES IN A POKER MATCH!

mark and i grew up and inevitably lost the closeness of our relationship. college took me miles away and we began to grow in different directions. i will never forget the day i came home for mark's engagement party. it was truly bittersweet for me because i had never seen mark so happy and he truly found where he belonged, a struggle that always plagued him. but there was still a small girl inside of me that wanted my great friend to be all mine. did i want mark to marry me? no. did i miss the summers playing cards, tennis, or basketball when it was just us? absolutely. i was so proud of my friend and brother.

as time went on disease became a part of mark's life. his disease was painful and at times debilitating. i continued to see him on holidays and we would talk about old times and old friends. but i am sad to say that it has been 2 years since i last saw mark. there's no good reason and no bad reason, just life. but i have loved mark my whole life. he was my brother.

this week my dear brother went on. his pain is over. his suffering is done. my one and only regret is that i didn't have a chance to say good bye. so i am telling you. if you love someone, tell them. take your opportunities to hug them. talk about the good times. laugh until you roll in the floor.

and mark...i love you friend. you made my life a fuller place to live. i will never forget our time and i can not wait to see you again. i will love you forever. we could've missed the pain but we would've missed the dance.

p.s. buddy, that shirt really sucks. ;-) good bye, friend.

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