after.

i'm trying to work today. it's going MEH.

i can do solid work for 30-45 minutes and then it returns...

this overwhelming, all-consuming pain that has seeped into my very core. a stake planted deep in my soul. it diminishes a bit if i sit very still and distract myself with music or words or email or twitter. but it returns.

it returns.

what is wrong with our world?

what brokenness drives one person to harm another?
how much pain must you feel to murder another?
how miserable are you if you can open fire on children?
how very lost are you if you choose to take lives at the end of something as life giving as finishing a marathon?

i believe people are good and i have decided to find that good in everyone i meet. this is not always easy but i believe it is there. however, after nights spent watching a school destroyed, or a finish line forever mauled by pain, finding good is hard.

then it happens.

i see the ones running into the smoke.
i see the ones carrying strangers out.
i hear that marathoners didn't stop at mile 26 but ran on...on to give blood when they were already weakened by fatigue, exhaustion and utter fear.

THERE IS THE GOOD. THERE IS LOVE. THERE IS LOVE.

after a morning of distracted work i offer you this reminder.

after the last tear falls
there is love.
love, love, love.
there is love.
love, love, love.
~ andrew peterson

if you hurt like i do, this is for you.